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Front and back view of a beige graphic t-shirt with a hot dog and sarcastic text.

Close-up of the back graphic showing the bold brown typography on fabric.

If I Wanted To Listen To An Asshole I’d Fart Funny captain spaulding hot dog shirt

Name: If I Wanted To Listen To An Asshole I’d Fart Funny captain spaulding hot dog shirt | Laughinks
Brand: Laughinks
Price: 22.99 USD
Availability: InStock

Original price was: $24.95.Current price is: $22.99.

Embrace the sarcastic side of life with this bold graphic tee featuring a minimalist hot dog illustration on the front. The reverse side delivers a punchy, humorous message that is sure to turn heads and start conversations.

Total: $0.00

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Categories: Apparel, Graphic Tees, Halloween Gifts, Movies

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👕 Product Details

If I Wanted To Listen To An Asshole I’d Fart Funny captain spaulding hot dog shirt

Options
Available in: Beige Sand, standard sizes, and comfortable custom styles (sweatshirts, hoodies, or tees).

For: Comedy Lovers
When: Casual Daily
Style: Retro Graphic
Mood: Sarcastic Humor
Gift: Sarcastic Colleague
Vibe: Pop Culture

How does this item fit and what are the sizing options?

Offers a classic unisex fit, running true to size for comfortable daily wear.

What are the care and washing instructions?

Machine wash cold inside-out with mild detergent. Tumble dry low or hang dry. Avoid ironing directly on graphic printed areas.

Will the graphic design or printed elements crack or fade?

Crafted using top-grade, high-density digital inks ensuring design details remain highly durable and resistant to cracking or fading over time.

❓ Why is the If I Wanted To Listen To An Asshole I’d Fart Funny captain spaulding hot dog shirt trending right now?

Trending due to edgy, viral-style humor found in indie apparel sub-cultures. It taps into the demand for subversive, text-heavy designs that prioritize bold, sarcastic personality over traditional fashion aesthetics.

🎯 Who This Is For

🔥Fans of edgy internet memes and observational satire.
🔥Individuals who enjoy wearing statement pieces that reflect a bold personality.
🔥Pop-culture enthusiasts looking for unique apparel that departs from mainstream fashion tropes.

Browse custom keepsakes and fan designs at laughinks.com for unique, trending, and artist-designed products.

❓ Frequently Asked Questions

What is the recommended washing method??

Machine wash cold inside out with like colors and tumble dry on low heat to keep the print sharp.

How does the unisex sizing fit??

These tees follow a classic retail fit, so order your standard size for a comfortable, regular feel.

What type of ink is used for the design??

We use high-grade direct-to-garment digital printing to ensure vibrant, long-lasting colors on the fabric.

Is the design screen printed??

No, this design is applied via digital printing technology for crisp, clear text and precise color details.

🔗 Explore More

Browse the full collection at laughinks.com
· Shop All
· Trending Now

From: laughinks.com

Please Note: All display items or accessories shown in the product images (such as stands, hangers, boxes, frames, backdrops, or other decorative props) are for illustrative and advertising purposes only and are not included with the product purchase.

CLASSIC PRINTED PRODUCTS

MEN APPAREL

G185 Pullover Hoodie

8 oz 55/45 cotton/polyester
Air jet yarn creates a smooth, low-pill surface
Double needle stitching; Pouch pocket; Unisex sizing
Care: Machine wash cold; Tumble dry low
Shipping Category: Heavyweight

G500 Gildan 5.3 oz. T-Shirt

5.3-ounce, 100% cotton (99/1 cotton/poly (Ash) & 90/10 cotton/poly (Sport Grey)
Heavyweight classic unisex tee
Taped neck and shoulders; Tearaway label
Made with sustainably and fairly grown USA cotton
Shipping Category: Lightweight

G240 Gildan LS Ultra Cotton T-Shirt

6.1-ounce, 100% cotton
Ash is 99% cotton, 1% poly; Sport Grey is 90% cotton, 10% poly; Dark Heather is 50% cotton, 50% polyester
Double-needle neck, sleeves and hem; Unisex sizing; consult size chart for details

Z65 Crewneck Pullover Sweatshirt (G180)

8 oz; 55% cotton/45% polyester
Air jet yarn for a softer feel and no pilling
1×1 athletic rib cuffs and waistband with spandex; Double-needle stitching
Care: Machine wash cold; Tumble dry low
Shipping Category: Heavyweight

CC1717 Heavyweight Garment-Dyed T-Shirt – Comfort Colors

6.1 oz., 100% ring spun USA cotton

Preshrunk, soft-washed, garment-dyed fabric

Made with sustainably and fairly grown USA cotton & sewn with USA cotton thread

Relaxed fit & Sewn-in Twill Label

Shipping Category: Lightweight

Printify 1382 Unisex Oversized Boxy Tee

100% airlume combed and ring-spun cotton (fiber content may vary for different colors)
Medium fabric (6.0 oz/yd² (170 g/m²))
Relaxed fit
Tear-away label

WOMEN APPAREL

G500VL Gildan Ladies' 5.3 oz. V-Neck T-Shirt

5.3 oz., 100% USA cotton
Made with sustainable and fairly grown USA cotton
90% cotton, 10% polyester: Sport Grey; 50/50 cotton/poly: Graphite Heather, Heather Navy
inch mitered V-neck collar; missy contoured silhouette with sideseam

G500L Gildan Ladies' 5.3 oz. T-Shirt

100% preshrunk cotton; Ash Grey 99% cotton, 1% polyester
Sport Grey is 90% cotton & 10% polyester; Dark Heather & Graphite Heather are 50% cotton & 50% polyester
Feminine _ inch rib mid scoop neck; sideseamed with slightly tapered Missy fit
Double-needle stitching throughout; seamless rib at neck

NL3900 Next Level Ladies' Boyfriend T-Shirt

4.3 oz, 100% combed ring-spun cotton jersey; Fabric laundered
Heather Gray 90% cotton/10% polyester; 32 singles for extreme softness
Slim Fit, please refer to size chart for actual garment measurements

Printify 1580 Women's Baby Tee

100% organic cotton
Medium fabric (5.9 oz/yd² (200 g/m²))
Slim fit
Printed using Direct-to-Film (DTF) technology
Tear-away label

Printify 1393 Women's Boxy Tee

100% ring-spun US cotton
Heavy fabric (6.1 oz/yd² (206.8 g/m²))
Boxy fit
Sewn-in twill label
Please note: Shade variations are inherent in the pigment dye process

KIDS/YOUTH APPAREL

G500B Gildan Youth 5.3 oz 100% Cotton T-Shirt

5.3-ounce, 100% cotton (90/10 cotton/poly (Sport Grey)
Seamless double-needle 3/4 inch collar
Taped neck and shoulders; Tearaway label
Shipping Category: Lightweight

G185B Gildan Youth Pullover Hoodie

7.75-ounce, 50% cotton, 50% polyester
No drawcord on kids’ hoodies
We suggest ordering one or two sizes up for a fuller fit; Please refer to size chart for actual garment measurements
Shipping Category: Lightweight

G240B Youth LS T-shirt (G540B)

5.3-ounce, 100% cotton
Sport Grey is 90% cotton, 10% poly
We suggest ordering one or two sizes up for a fuller fit; Please refer to size chart for actual garment measurements

IO Baby Onesie

Material: 100% Spun Polyester
Recommended Age: 24 Months, 12 Months & 6 Months
Includes (3) Snap Closures
Decoration type: Dye Sublimation
Garment Measurements: 27cm x 44cm

DRINKWARE

11oz & 15oz Ceramic Coffee Mug

High quality ceramic mug
Dishwasher safe
Microwave safe
White gloss 11 oz
Decorated with full wrap dye sublimation

AM11OZ 11 oz. Accent Mug

High Quality Ceramic Mug with two-tone rim and handle
Makes for the perfect gift
Top to bottom full wrap decoration
Dishwasher and Microwave Safe
Decoration Type: Sublimation

11oz & 15oz Color Changing Mug

Ceramic mug decorated with full wrap
Graphic is revealed when hot water is added
Black mugs are a slightly softer black than it appears where the design is printed
Not dishwasher safe; Microwave Safe
Decoration Type: Sublimation

Campfire Mug or Camping Mug

Stainless steel with enamel finish.
12oz fluid capacity.
3.2” height x 3.25” diameter.

22217 Beer Stein 22oz.

22 oz white ceramic stein
Gold trim with D-handle
ORCA Coatings, Dishwasher safe
Do not microwave
Product Dimensions: 6.6 x 6.6 x 3.5 inches

XP8400W White Travel Mug

14 oz. stainless steel construction
Friction lid , swivel spout, and comfort handle
Hand wash is recommended
Do not microwave
Product Dimensions: 6.2 x 2.9 x 3.375 (h x w x d) / 10.6 (circ.) inches

XP8400S Silver Stainless Travel Mug

14 oz. stainless steel construction
Friction lid , swivel spout, and comfort handle
Hand wash is recommended
Do not microwave
Product Dimensions: 6.2 x 2.9 x 3.375 (h x w x d) / 10.6 (circ.) inches

ACCESSORIES

Tote Bag (medium)

100% cotton canvas.
Durable 10oz. fabric.
Flat construction.
Bag measures 15 x 15 inches.
Bag volume capacity, approx. 12 liters.
Strap handles measure 30 inches.
Strap drop (high point of strap to bag opening) measures 11 inches.
Handles feature stress point reinforced stitching.
Imprint on one side.
No white ink printed.
Machine wash cold inside out with like colors; line dry.

ALL-OVER PRINTED PRODUCTS (FULL PRINTED)

FULL PRINTED APPAREL

All Over Printed Sweatshirt (Unisex)

Each sweater is constructed from a premium woven polyester that is ultra-soft and incredibly comfortable.

Lightweight sweatshirt with long raglan sleeves and ribbing at neckline, cuffs

Top in soft sweatshirt fabric in a slightly looser fit with dropped shoulders and ribbing around the neckline, cuffs and hem. Soft brushed inside.

We use premium ring-spun cotton to achieve a smooth and stable fabric surface for printing.

Features a specialty high definition heat-dye application that ensures long lasting color vibrancy even after machine washing.

Fabric is durable and resistant to wrinkles, shrinking and mildew.

Finished with elasticated cuffs and waist for a stylish fit.

Imported, processed and printed in the China

Fabric: Scuba(95% polyester and 5% spandex)

Fabric Weight: 230gms

All Over Printed T-shirt (Unisex)

Healthy fabric 95% polyester with cotton felling

Double-needle top-stitched neckline.

Double-stitched sleeve and waist hems.

Seamless collar with taped neck and shoulders.

Quarter-turned body to eliminate the center crease.

Imported, processed and printed in the China

The design is printed with new age printing technology, direct to garment. It is printed with a water – soluble and eco – friendly ink

It is cured with a heat treatment process to ensure the color-fastness and lasting durability of the design

Unisex T-Shirt is a good ideal for wearing between summer and winter. Pair with jeans or layer with your favourite knit on colder days.

Fit is unisex standard designed for both girls and boys

Machine wash cold inside out with like colors, tumble dry low for easy care.

All Over Printed Hoodie (Unisex)

Features a specialty high definition heat-dye application that ensures long lasting color vibrancy even after machine washing.

The fabric is durable and resistant to wrinkles, shrinking and mildew.

Each Hoodie is custom printed, cut and sewn just for you when you place your order – there may be small differences in the design on the seams and / or arms due to the custom nature of the production process!

Fabric: Scuba(95% polyester and 5% spandex)

Fabric Weight: 230gms

All Over Printed Zip Hoodie (Unisex)

This Zip-Up Hoodie is made with Premium Quality Polyester and Spandex Fabric and hand-finished to ensure your hoodie graphic is aligned, complete, and totally brilliant. Features drop cords along neck and bottom hem, contrast zipper tape, front pockets and a jersey-lined drawstring hood. High-quality zipper gives you quick in and out access with no snags!

Product Features:

Each hoodie is constructed from a premium polyester blend that is ultra-soft and incredibly comfortable.

Features a specialty high definition heat-dye application that ensures long lasting color vibrancy even after machine washing

Comfort & Style

With Premium Quality polyester fabric. This fabric is incredibly strong and durable as well as resistant to wrinkles, shrinking, abrasion, and mildew.

Fabric: Scuba(95% polyester and 5% spandex)

Fabric Weight: 230gms

All Over Printed Sweatpants (Unisex)

This unisex sweatpants are made from polyester and Spandex blend. Side pockets store essentials.

A ribbed drawcord waistband adjusts for a snug fit, and side-seam pockets store your small essentials.

No pilling after wash

Occasions: running, jogging, gym, workout, fitness, walking, outdoor living,everyday wear, exercise, layering, lounging, activewear etc.

Fabric: Scuba(94% polyester and 6% spandex)

Fabric Weight: 225gms

All Over Printed Hawaiian shirt (Men)

This shirt fits well for a masculine look.

The material can be ironed.

100% woven polyester fabric, the woven polyester fabric is lightweight, breathable, and resistant to shrinking wrinkles.

The coconut button is simple and comfortable.

All Over Printed Hawaiian short (Men)

Hawaiian Short made with quick-dry, breathable and soft fabric to keep you cool; Elastic waistband with drawstrings; Functional wear for swimming, surfing, playing at the beach or pool, or other water sports activities.

Fabric: Four-way stretch (95% polyester and 5% spandex)

Regular fit

Elastic waistband

Fabric Weight: 135 g/m².

Stitch Color: black or white, automatically matched based on patterns.

All Over Printed Baseball Jersey Shirt

Material : POLO fabric

Each shirt is handcrafted to the highest quality standards using a premium polyester blend.

Features a cozy yet lightweight fabric that is soft to touch and breathable for comfort.

Cut longer than standard length

With an elegant placket and classic collar, this shirt is excellent for mixing and matching. Slender, flattering cut showcases the elegant drape of the fabric.

Perfect length for wearing on its own or unbuttoned as a light outer layer.

All Over Printed Polo Shirt (Men)

Material : 95% Polyester, 5% Spandex
Machine washes in the cold with similar colors/no bleach/low iron.
About Shirts: Regular fit, lightweight, all-over printing shirt featuring spread collar and short sleeve.
Provides the most stylish and comfortable Shirts which can be worn on all occasions.
The color could be slightly different between on the screen and in practice.

TUMBLER

Stainless Steel Tumbler

Each of our Stainless Steel Tumbler is custom-hand-made of SUS 304 body, premium material lid and also is sprayed a special paint on the outside of the tumble.
The only drink lid that uses the power of magnets to keep your water, beer, or favorite drink on lock.
A durable coat of color won’t fade, peel, or crack through extended field use and also provide additional grip.
The double-wall insulated tumbler with a vacuum between helps your drink to keep its temperature from 3 to 4 hours.
Capacity: 20oz
Dimension: Top Diameter x Bottom Diameter x Height: 8.8 x 7.2 x 17.5 (cm) – 3.46 x 2.83 x 6.89 (inches)
Package: 1 x Stainless Steel Tumbler (without straw)

BLANKET

60x80 FLL Arctic Fleece Blanket

Smooth, sturdy, and warm fleece blanket. Best price option. Thickness: 0.35 cm
Full color all over print; Prints edge to edge on one side
Machine wash separately in cold water; Tumble dry on low heat
Do not iron or press with heat; Do not dry clean
Decoration Method: Sublimation

60x80-SHL Sherpa Blanket

Premium Silky Smooth mink front; Premium Fluffy Sherpa back side; Thickness: 1 cm
Full color all over print; Prints edge to edge on one side
Machine wash separately in cold water; Tumble dry on low heat
Do not iron or press with heat; Do not dry clean
Decoration Method: Sublimation

30x40-VPS Cozy Plush Fleece Blanket

Luxurious, silky, cozy, ideal for snuggling; Thickness: 0.6 cm
Full color all over print; Prints edge to edge on one side
Machine wash separately in cold water; Tumble dry on low heat
Do not iron or press with heat; Do not dry clean
Decoration Method: Sublimation

60×80 VPL Cozy Plush Fleece Blanket

CANVAS

Canvas In Frame

Abrasion resistant surface easily stands up to the print production process, packaging, and handling
Ready to Hang, Full Gallery Wrapped and Framed Canvas
16 mil, 310gsm; Fine weave (oxford 1-over-1)
35% cotton, 65% polyester; Satin Finish
Decoration Type: Solvent Ink

🧢 Shipping Summary Table

Delivery Time = Manufacturing Time (1–5 days) + Shipping Time.

Product Type

Shipping Time

Shipping Cost

Delivery Time

Classic Printed Products (*)

(center printed)

United States:

Standard: 6–12 business days

Expedited: 4–8 business days

International:

Standard: 14–28 business days

Expedited: 7–14 business days

Standard: $4.99+ (US), $8.49+ (International)

Expedited: $19.99+

Standard: 11–22 business days

Expedited: 6–13 business days

All-over-printed Products

(3D full printed)

Worldwide:

Standard: 3–4 weeks

Expedited: 1–2 weeks

Standard: $8.99+

Standard: ~4–5 weeks

Expedited: ~2–3 weeks

Embroidered Products

US, UK, EU, Canada: 8–15 business days

Other countries: 8–20 business days

Standard: $4.99+ (US), $8.49+ (International)

8–20 business days

Note: please contact us at [email protected] to request expedited shipping.

(*) Only products labeled “Made in USA” are counted in this classic printed category.

✅ Additional Notes:

Made-to-order: All items are custom-produced after order placement.
Manufacturing Time: Typically 1–5 business days (Mon–Fri), but may exceed a week during peak seasons. Some popular designs may be pre-printed and ship faster than custom styles.
Expedited Manufacturing moves your order to the front of the production queue. For specific deadlines (birthdays, holidays), always choose Expedited.
Timeframes are estimates, subject to delays during peak seasons, holidays, or unforeseen events.

No Guaranteed Dates: We do not guarantee shipping or arrival dates. Events such as COVID-19 or extreme demand periods may delay manufacturing or shipping by 1+ weeks.

🔁 Return Policy

As our products are made-to-order (print/embroider on demand), we do not accept returns or exchanges for size or color changes.
Please carefully review the size chart and color options provided in each product description before placing your order.

We only accept issue replacements in the following cases:

The product is damaged or defective
You received the wrong size, color, or design not matching your order

✅ Resolution: We will send you a replacement item at no extra cost.
🚫 You do not need to return the original item to us.

📬 When Should You Contact Us via Email: [email protected]?

Please reach out to us if you experience any of the following situations:

📦 Your order is delayed beyond the estimated delivery time listed above without a clear explanation (e.g., no notification of holiday delays, shipping issues, or unexpected events).
❌ You want to cancel your order or update your shipping address, and the item has not yet been marked as “Shipped.”
🚫 There is an error in the shipping address and you need to correct it before the order is processed and shipped.
🛠️ The product you received is damaged or defective, or it was sent in the wrong size, color, or design compared to your original order.

⏰ Note: We can only make adjustments or cancellations before your item enters the “Shipped” status. Once shipped, changes or cancellations will not be possible.

Made to Order, Designed to Make You Laugh

At Laughinks, we believe laughter never goes out of style. We’re your go-to shop for witty, fun, and one-of-a-kind gifts—from graphic tees and cozy hoodies to mugs, hats, and more. Whether you’re celebrating a birthday, holiday, or just your quirky sense of humor, we’ve got something to make everyone smile.

We’re a small, passionate team of 5 people, dedicated to discovering and creating what our customers actually want. Every product is made-to-order with care, powered by the Print-on-Demand (POD) model. Print-on-Demand means that items are only produced once an order is placed, eliminating the need for large inventories and reducing waste.

Beyond our own unique and creative designs, we also offer high-quality replica prints of popular or famous items. This allows you to pursue your passions, express yourself, indulge your personal interests, or find the perfect surprising gift for a loved one, all at a more reasonable price. No mass production, no waste, just good vibes and great designs.

We offer high-quality products with fresh, regularly updated trends, and even custom options to make your gift truly personal.

Contact Us:

🏢 Address: 12 Rochelle St, Staten Island, NY 10304, US
📧 Email: [email protected]
📦 Shipping Info: laughinks.com/shipping-information
❓ FAQs: laughinks.com/frequently-asked-questions
📱 Follow us: Facebook | Twitter | Pinterest | YouTube

Laughinks – spreading joy, one funny design at a time!

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	S	M	L	XL	2XL	3XL	4XL	5XL	6XL
Chest (Front Only)	18	20	22	24	26	28	30	32	34
Body Length	28	29	30	31	32	33	34	35	36
Sleeve Length	15_^5/8	17	18_^1/2	20	21_^1/2	22_^7/8	24_^1/4	25_^1/3	24_^3/4

	S	M	L	XL	2XL	3XL
Chest (Front Only)	4-6	8-10	12-14	16-18	20-22	24-26
Body Length	17_^1/4	19_^1/4	21_^1/4	23_^1/4	25_^1/4	27_^1/4
Sleeve Length (1)	25_^1/2	26	27	28	28_^1/2	29
Sleeve Length (2)	13_^1/4	14	14_^3/4	15_^3/4	16_^3/4	17_^1/2

	S	M	L	XL	2XL	3XL
Bust (Front Only)	17_^1/4	19^_1/4	21_^1/4	23_^1/4	25_^1/4	27_^1/4
Body Length	25^_1/2	26	27	28	28_^1/2	29
Sleeve Length	13_^1/4	14	14_^3/4	15_^3/4	16_^3/4	17_^1/2

	XS	S	M	L	XL	2XL	3XL
Bust (Front Only)	15_^1/4	16_^1/4	17_^1/4	18_^1/4	19_^3/4	21_^1/4	22_^3/4
Body Length (*)	24_^3/4	25_^3/8	26	26_^5/8	27_^1/4	27_^7/8	28_^1/2

	XS	S	M	L	XL
Chest (Front Only)	16	17	18	19	20
Body Length	20_^1/2	22	23_^1/2	25	26_^1/2
Sleeve Length	13_^1/2	14_^1/2	15_^1/2	16_^1/2	17_^1/2

If I Wanted To Listen To An Asshole I’d Fart Funny captain spaulding hot dog shirt

Size Chart for Classic Printed Apparel

MEN/UNISEX

WOMEN

KIDS/YOUTH

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